Rant: Headhunters Dos and Don'ts

1. Don't assume I'm male.
2. If I answer my phone and I say clearly "Hello, this is Erin." and you ask automatically "Hello, is this Erin?", I am going to hang up on you.
3. If I can hear your hair grease through the phone, I am going to hang up on you. This isn't telemarketing.
4. If I can't understand you, I am going to hang up on you too.
5. Similarly, don't send me email telling me that you have a perfect job match for me, if you don't, just as a way to get me to reply. I don't like being lied to.
6. If I answer my phone and tell you that I don't have time to talk, don't ask me to just take a few minutes anyway. I'm happy to call you back another time.
7. If you're a technical recruiter, don't tell me that you aren't technical. It's time to learn what everything means.
8. Do not ask me to send you my resume in Microsoft Word format. I don't want to work for you if you don't know how to open plain text or HTML in Microsoft Word.
9. Do not ask me to fax you my resume. How hard is it to print?
10. Do not enclose your cool little attachment business card in your e-mail. I can't always view it, and that means I can't call you back. Also, I don't want your viruses.
11. Do not ask me if I have any friends who might be interested. I don't want to do your work for you. If I have a friend who might fit what you need, I'll give YOUR phone number to THEM to make sure you don't just add them to your list and start bothering them.
12. When I tell you my minimum starting rate or salary, don't fall silent, laugh, or immediately try to bargain me down. I can be flexible, but I don't like being insulted.
13. When you AGREE to my rate, don't have me go through the interview with the client and THEN come back and tell me that they will hire me if I lower my rate. That's a pretty transparent attempt to get yourself more money.
14. If you got my resume off of a job board like Monster or Guru, please read more than just my skill set. A lot of these boards will tell you if I am willing to relocate (I'm not) or if I'm willing to travel (yes, but not heavily). They even will tell you where I live.
15. Don't print out resumes and keep them in a folder in your desk. Resumes get updated. I may no longer be on the market, or working in the area you need. I have gotten calls for resumes over 2 years old.
16. Similarly, if the headhunter before you quit, and bequeathed to you all their contacts, please at least skim all the information you have before cold-calling everyone on the list. Sometimes the person before you has kept relevant notes and/or placement histories.
17. Don't ask me to fill out a generic job application form. All the information you need is on my resume. I can give you references separately. Do you really care what years I went to high school?
18. Perl is usually not spelled PERL and never spelled PEARL. Perl and CGI are not the same. ASP is not the same as JSP. Java is not the same as Javascript.
19. Don't just plug in a keyword into a search engine and call everyone who comes up. You will be collecting anywhere from 15% to 70% of what I make. The least you can do is actually read my resume and figure out if I fit your bill.
20. In summary: I appreciate your situation and I don't want to waste your time. Do me the courtesy of not wasting mine.