Upon Having Finished Season 1 of the Wire

Disclaimer (17 March, 2010)

I have read nothing about this show and I have only visited Wikipedia once in order to get some of the names straight. I read as little as possible to avoid spoilering myself.

In Which I Outline My Overall Thoughts

This show is clearly smart porn for smart people who want to see smart people conquering other smart people with their smarts. I can't really object, and I am enjoying watching the show. But I feel I now have an explanation as to why all my smart friends love The Wire so much and will watch it over and over again. Even the dumb people in the show turn out to be secretly smart. Except for D'Angelo.

On the other hand, I am already irritated with the "EVERYONE has a flaw" schtick. I really hope they don't keep it up. I don't need to have it shoved in my face over and over that there's no "moral" difference between the people on each side. Sometimes "good guys" like to drink, cheat, steal, and make other regrettable personal choices. Sometimes crackheads, strippers and drug dealers have hearts of gold and enjoy tasty fish cakes. But it's bordering on getting contrived. So far, the only person who doesn't seem to have done anything seedy or dishonest is Kima Greggs, so I'm preparing for the writers to make her do something terrible next season, like cheat on her girlfriend or something.

Is Stringer Bell or Avon Barksdale really in charge? I know who's "supposed" to be in charge. The guy in college, right? The guy secretly going to college should be smarter! Not the guy going to jail!

I freely admit that I am so white that I still can't understand about 5% of the Pit dialogue. I tentatively blame the difference between the Baltimore accent, which I probably don't hear here on the subway.

I love that there are fat people on this show and it isn't an issue. Unless Landsman has a coronary next season, because he needs another flaw. I also love that race doesn't seem to be an issue (with one notable exception when some white guy assumes Daniels isn't the lieutenant).

In Which I Describe My Opinion Of Various Characters

• All Police: Stop drinking in the car. Go home and drink. Even the drug dealers don't do drugs. Except for Wallace, who's dead.
• McNulty: The expression of horror on his face when he was listening to the recording of Greggs getting shot was FANTASTIC. His losing his kids in the market made me have Heavy Rain flashbacks. Just keep calling for Jason! He has the red balloon!
• Daniels: We have already watched Fringe Season 1, so most of the time Lance Reddick is on screen, I am wondering who would win in a fight, Daniels or Broyles. I am also convinced that the money he's being blackmailed over was stolen by his wife, not by him.
• Omar: Jen told me once that Omar was President Obama's favorite character. I'm not sure what that means, but I keep thinking about it whenever Omar does something simultaneously fabulous and questionable. I really want to walk in to work one day and have everyone scatter shouting "ERIN'S COMIN', IT'S ERIN!"
• Landsman: The blatant, unashamed abandon of his sucking-up and ass-kissing is one of my favorite things on the entire show.
• Rawls: The pep talk he gave McNulty in the hospital only redeems him by 90%.
• Bubbles: If the police keep ignoring him and/or giving him money whenever he tries to get clean, I will scream.
• D'Angelo: His momma didn't really raise him right, did she? I don't really care about him one way or another. I know I am supposed to like him but he seems... not smart enough.
• Annoying Redhead Lawyer Chick Whose Name I Can't Be Bothered To Look Up: Die in a grease fire.
• Brianna: Need more of her, kicking more ass.
• Wee-Bey: I admire his priorities. I hope he gets his potato salad.
• Herc and Carver: They just remind me of the Malloy brothers in the Ocean's Eleven remake.
• Levy: Must he be quite so very, very repellent AND Jewish? Can't we have him do something nice and Jewish, like secretly doing some pro bono work for his rabbi's daughter whose son is dying tragically of Tay-Sachs?
• Lester: I really liked him. Then he started screwing Shardene the stripper. I don't even want to get into the cliché of how he made her more beautiful by giving her contact lenses instead of glasses. Also, I hope they don't have the baby/cradle toy later be the key to Shardene's undoing.
• Judge Phelan: Most ruthless eyes.

Saddest _____ Ever Category

• empty orange sofa
• blue highlighter stain
• abandoned portable CD player